1. Life on Hard Mode

I felt like I was drifting peacefully in a warm, gentle place. Then, suddenly, I was thrust from a dark, cramped, and suffocating space into a sudden burst of light, and an unbelievable sound escaped from my throat.

"Waaaaah! Waaaaah!"

"Congratulations! It's a girl!"

What is happening to me? I am filled with shock, and my vision is blurred as I struggle to grasp my situation; my limbs feel heavy, and I can only make out shadowy figures moving to and fro through the bright space.

While my face was being wiped and my body rubbed, and while I lay covered by something like a cloth, there was a flurry of activity around me; then, everything grew quiet, and I could hear the sound of someone sobbing.

"To think this would happen to the Head of the House..."

"We have no choice but to tell him the truth..."

Just then,

"Wait! If you enter the birthing room, Lady Claire will...!"

“Shut up! Are you trying to tell me what to do?!”

With that roar, the door slammed open, and someone stepped into the room.

“Where is Claire?!”

“It's just that... immediately after giving birth..."

“Good heavens... Claire...

There was a sound, like someone collapsing.

“Master, this is the child Lady Claire risked her life to bring into this world. A lovely little lady, she is.”

As those words were spoken, someone lifted me up.

“My daughter... Claire's...

I sensed the presence of the man approaching as he spoke. I struggled to open my eyes so I could see my surroundings, but I was overcome by an unbearable drowsiness. Even so, through my desperately opened eyes, a silhouette drifted into view.

“Oh... not only is her hair gold, but her eyes are the Marquis's violet...”

Amidst those exclamations of surprise, the man peering down at me spoke.

“If only she had at least inherited Claire's colors.”

“My Lord! It is a rare blessing for two members of a single generation to possess the pale violet eyes! You must not say such things!”

“Enough! She is Claire's daughter. Find her a wet nurse and raise her so that she does not perish.”

The man made the declaration as if he were speaking of someone else entirely.

It seems I had been as a baby, I thought, just as I was about to drift off to sleep.

"If only you hadn't been born, Claire wouldn't have had to die."

As I fell into sleep, only the man's murmur remained in my memory.

When I woke up again, what I felt was an intense hunger. I wailed instinctively, not knowing why, and someone came to offer me a warm breast. Then they changed my diaper. They used warm water while there was still daylight. From the second time onward, whether I was hungry or not, someone would come at roughly the same time to feed me and change my diaper.

By the time that rhythm became established, I had grown accustomed to being a baby and was able to think about things more clearly.

This is it—the so-called 'reincarnation as a baby.' As a book lover, I used to read plenty of those kinds of escapist stories.

Tracing back my memories, I don't remember everything clearly, but I feel as though I died in a hospital bed. Looking back even further, a warm sensation wells up inside me. A kind husband and lovely children. The children crying by my bed must have been old enough to have grandchildren by then. That's it; I must have died having lived a happy life, even if it was a bit sooner than expected.

So why am I a baby? And why am I able to think like an adult and understand language, all while retaining my memories?

I am fed and my diaper is changed again. The person always holds me for a little while, rocking me gently, peering into my eyes—which were finally beginning to see clearly—as they talk to me.

“Poor thing. Not only is her mother gone, but she’s been shunned by her father, too. Normally, they’d have hired a proper wet nurse, but they didn't even bother looking. Assigning a commoner like me—nobles are truly incomprehensible.”

However, even this period of care was not to last long.

“Martha, how long is it going to take you to nurse that child? We’re always short-handed here!”

She responded immediately after the woman, who appeared to be her colleague, said so.

“I really should be holding her and talking to her more, but I don't know what the people in this mansion are thinking.”

Even so, Martha, who tries to stay with me for as long as possible despite saying that, is a truly wonderful person.

In my abundance of time, I reflect on everything that has happened so far and think it over carefully.

From the commotion at my birth, I learned that my mother in this life died at the same moment I was born. Because of that, I am disliked by my father. It seems the family I was born into is a Marquis's house. It is true that the rooms I have seen since I gained my sight are quite bleak, but they are certainly spacious. Though, I don't quite understand what being a Marquis entails in this world.

Blonde hair and violet eyes. Since they mentioned two people with pale violet eyes, I must have a brother or a sister. Though I have never met them. Despite my face being unable to move, as an infant should, I managed a wry smile. Anyone watching would surely have found it quite eerie.

The only people I have met are the one who feeds me and the one who bathes me, but even my father has never once come to see me.

Oh, there's one more. But I'll deal with that later.

They seem to think that as long as they feed me and keep me clean, that's enough, but a baby won't grow up that way. They need to hold me often, talk to me often, and expose me to the sunlight once in a while, not just the dim light from the window.

They need to soothe me when I cry and rejoice when I smile. That is how one grows into a human being.

Just because they are nobles doesn't mean this situation—leaving a child neglected—is normal. Most likely, because my father has grown to despise his child, no one dares to get involved for fear of being reprimanded for any perceived mistake.

However, now that I have been reborn, I have no intention of living a life of misery. If no one is going to raise me, I'll just have to raise myself. For now, I'll move this uncooperative body as much as I can and cry as much as I want.

After all, that's a baby's job. Despite my firm resolve, I lost the battle against sleepiness and ended up sleeping without doing a single thing. How humiliating.