7. Father, Brother and I

“Dada, caw, nya, doon!”

I tried to explain that we were just taking a night stroll, but there was no way my brother would understand.

“She insisted on going outside, so I'm keeping watch,”

Father replied.

“In that case, I'll take her for a stroll during the day. There's no need for this at night. Especially not just the two of you,”

my brother insisted. He was staring at me with a sorrowful expression. At me? No. He was looking at Father, who was holding me.

It came back to me. The very first time I was held, Father probably hadn't held a baby even once before. He must have said he learned how by watching Sebas hold one.

Which means, perhaps, my brother hasn't been held by Father since he was a little boy.

That's why he's so sad right now—not just because his precious little sister was taken away from him, but because his sister has stolen his father away, too.

Since Father looked like he was about to say something, I patted his lips with my hands. No matter what he said, I'm sure it would only make my brother sadder.

"What is it?"

"Daaii, bwawa"

"Do you want to go to Luke?"

"Eeey"

Father stopped himself mid-sentence and started walking down the stairs. Being carried by Father meant I was looking down at my brother. He looked up at me for a moment, and his face was just as sad as I thought it would be.

I reached my arms out toward my brother. For a second, it looked like Father didn't want to let me go, but then he handed me over. My brother won't drop me again. He hugged me tight and buried his face in my hair.

This time, I reached out for Father.

"What now?"

I gave Father's hand a little pat, as if to say, "Me next!"

"Bwawa, bwawa, daau!"

With that, I clung to my brother's neck.

"Are you telling me to hold you along with Luke?"

"Huh?"

Ignoring my brother's shock, Father tentatively reached out toward him. My brother froze in surprise.

"Come to think of it, I've never held you like this before."

Father murmured softly as he gently wrapped his arms around both me and my brother.

"I never had anyone hold me when I was little; Claire was the first person to ever hold me."

I wondered if that was just how nobles were, or if it was just how our family was.

"I've held women before, but I've never held anyone like this."

“Hey!” Isn't that something you shouldn't say to a baby or a ten-year-old? Seeing me and my brother frozen in shock, Father let out a suppressed chuckle.

“Setting Luke aside, why are you frozen too?”

Well, I mean...

“Sometimes you make the exact same face, to the point where I wonder if Claire has been reincarnated. Even though I know that's impossible.”

“Me too.”

My brother nodded at Father's murmur.

“Lia looks exactly like Mother. It feels like she looks at me with that same kindness. But she's way, way more mischievous than Mother. She makes weird faces and says things I can't even understand.”

What a harsh way to put it. I should at least protest.

“Daaauu!”

My brother hugged me just a little bit tighter.

“It’s as if you understand everything I say, and I love you, I love you so much it hurts.”

Father pulled my brother into a tight embrace.

“I cannot understand a love as deep as yours,”

Father murmured.

“Even if I love you, it all ends once you are gone. If I hadn't fallen in love with Claire, I wouldn't have to suffer like this.”

“Father, please...”

My brother tried to protest.

“It was I who brought children into this world. I spend my nights wondering if Claire could have survived if I hadn't... I've resented this tiny thing, I've tried to escape into my work, but then I look up and there it is—this strange little creature..."

Is he talking about me? Huh? A strange creature? I'm a cute baby!

“You can't even walk yet, and yet you give me that 'I guess I have no choice' look, just like Claire. You're a bit lacking in your studies on how to be human. You make that exact same face Claire used to make whenever I said I'd teach you everything, one step at a time.”

I get what you're saying, I really do, but what's the point of telling that to my brother and me?

“Looking at this creature... it feels as though the emptiness and heartache within me might finally be filled. This strange little thing.”

“In that case, Father, instead of sneaking a peek at night, why don't you just stay by her side the whole time she's at the manor?”

“Even during the day?”

“And besides, why are you sneaking her out at night? Staying up late is bad for a baby!”

“Is it bad?”

My brother and I sighed in unison.

“You are Lia's father, after all, so it's perfectly fine to stay by her side.”

“Father...”

Why does he say it like he didn't know that all along?

"Daauuuu."

"What is it?"

"Bwawa, bwawa!"

...Are you saying you're Luke's father?

"Aai!"

He understood. Father took a deep breath, let it out, and then hugged me and my brother once more.

"From now on, I'll come to see you during the day."

The season was autumn. It had been nearly ten months since I was born.